aidenonymous: (gender)
For reference, months nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, and one.

It's been seven weeks since my last update, but I've only advanced a month on T.  I took a break for three weeks for reasons outlined here and elaborated on my feelings about it here.  There's pretty much been radio silence since then because I didn't feel like writing.  /-:  But I started again (on the same dose, one 1.25 g pump of Androgel 1% daily, applied to my hips and butt) three weeks ago.  I changed my application site to areas where I actually have some fat deposits because right before my break I got a levels check and was at 264 ng/dL, which is arguably in the "normal' range for a male.  (I was a few days into the break when I was informed of the lab test results, so I don't think it had any impact on my decision to take a break).  I don't have a whole lot in the way of body fat, and most of it's in my butt, chesticles, and resting on my hip-bones, so I wonder if applying it to my thighs was causing a higher effective dose based on what got into my bloodstream.  Impossible to say, so I switched to fattier areas just in case it contributed to feeling like changes were happening to fast.

pausing T )

-----

resuming T )

Everything else:
I did, in fact, learn to shave.  I'm embarrassed to say I actually had fun with it and was disappointed I didn't have enough hair to do it again until two weeks later.  *facepalm*  Passing has been more misses than hits, though I suspect it was due to a hit to my confidence from stopping T rather than any physical changes.  I have been having Feelings with a capital F about my chest and am pressuring myself to make a decision about top surgery ASAP.  This tactic is not working.  I have reason to believe that my breathing troubles may be psychosomatic, which is Concerning with a capital C, evidently.  Oh, and in case I didn't say it enough times already, I am not planning to take another break for a very long time indeed.
aidenonymous: (gender)
For reference, months eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, and one.

the usual )

I think it's probably not worth updating so often given the slow pace of changes at this point.  I'll post another update at the one year mark and maybe a quick note here and there if anything interesting happens. 
aidenonymous: (gender)
For reference, months six, five, four, three, two, one.
details under the cut )
aidenonymous: (gender)
For reference, months five, four, three, two, one.

NSFW & TMI )
aidenonymous: (gender)
For reference, weeks twelve, ten, eight, six, four, three, two, and one.

obligatory cut )
aidenonymous: (gender)
For reference, weeks eight, six, four, three, two, and one.

the usual cut )
aidenonymous: (gender)
For reference, weeks six, four, three, two, and one.

cut for TMI and length )
aidenonymous: (gender)
For reference, weeks four, three, two, and one.  I'm doing these less often because changes are so slow now and the novelty is wearing off -- this is good, though, that it's just becoming part of the routine, not something enormously distracting.  That being said, I'm going to be hard to reach online for a bit while I catch up on work I fell behind on due to being totally preoccupied with trans stuff during my first month on T, so don't expect to hear much from me until my eight week update.
cut as usual )
aidenonymous: (gender)
For reference, weeks three, two, and one.

cut for TMI )
aidenonymous: (gender)
For reference, weeks one and two.

plenty of TMI under the cut )
aidenonymous: (freddie mercury in drag)
Woah, I actually did it!  Today was the first day I didn't spend frantically working in months, and I spent the vast majority of it asleep.  But when I awoke, I felt good, really good, by which I mean hopeful for the future for the first time in a year and ready to do something that would turn things around.  For some reason, Tuesdays have always been my favorite day of the week, until last semester that is.  As a grad student, I had to teach every Tuesday, an experience I found incredibly frustrating and extremely humiliating, and I quickly grew to hate Tuesdays.  Well, today, I'm taking them back!

Just before midnight, I applied my first dose of T.  (-:  I'm pleased to report nothing remotely interesting happened.  My AndroGel's in 2.5 gram packets, but I only used half of one because that's what's in one pump dose, and that's probably what I should have gotten instead and will request at my next appointment.  Anyway, I saved the other half and may attempt to use it tomorrow, but I'm not exactly short on it, nor does it cost me anything due to grad student health insurance, so I'm not going to cry over wasting any.

This calls for a celebration!  Heh, too bad I can't get too affectionate with my (cismale) partner for a few hours.  It really does feel like this is the celebration, the light at the end of the tunnel, or the reward I've been working toward and finally deserve, and it doesn't need anything else to be perfect.  I just feel really satisfied right now.

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