aidenonymous: (gender)
I failed to actually post this last week when I should have, but here it is anyway.

boring )

Beep boop

Jun. 2nd, 2015 06:47 pm
aidenonymous: (gender)
And I meant to post this one yesterday but fell asleep before finishing it. . .

things )


May. 16th, 2013 10:39 pm
aidenonymous: (gender)
Wow, I was surprisingly distressed about LJ being down for a day or two.  I've been feeling so strong a need to interact with other people who share my experience.  I don't know if it's because I was starved of it for a year and am just soaking in a year's worth of community all at once or if it's because I just started T and am feeling all kinds of uncertain, not about my decision, but just looking for anchors when things are changing so I don't get swept away.

Change, however, is good, at least to me right now.  I've been feeling a lot more creative; I wrote a poem yesterday and recorded it on video today, sort of to celebrate being ten days on T, but mostly because I'm rin utter disbelieve about how much my voice has changed in just ten days.  I am so grateful to myself for making the last-minute decision to record this.  I still sound female on the phone (how many times do I need to be addressed as "ma'am" in one conversation?!), but I'm rapidly approaching an androgynous range.  I'm pretty glad I decided to halve my dose, because this is a good pace for me, even if a part of me (okay, a lot of me) wants more changes and faster.  Anyway, send me an e-mail if you want to see/hear the video, since I'm reluctant to actually upload anything publicly.
aidenonymous: (freddie mercury)
Hey, everybody!  I'm back after a long hiatus and owe all the friends I've made here over the past two and a half years a big apology for disappearing and missing out on your lives.  Over the summer, I lived in a house with very flaky Internet service and got out of the habit of doing any personal websurfing.  As it turns out, that's a hard habit to pick up again, especially when in a new place and trying to integrate into a "real life" community.  Though I feel a lot more secure in my place as a member of the local community, I also have a lot more work to do, all the time, due to being a first-year grad student.  I literally went two months without checking my personal e-mail account! 

After a particularly rough ~100 hour workweek last week, I sort of burnt out and made time to catch up, simply because I had no way of getting my work done in such a state, and I expect I won't have time to catch up with everyone here for about six weeks when my winter holiday begins.  Probably by next weekend I'll post a few mini-updates I wrote off-line over the past few months just to get things off my chest.  In the meantime, I can best be reached by e-mail at (and if you got this far, please feel free to drop me a line).  Also, I want to be the sort of "grown up" who sends people holiday cards (mostly because a certain friend's inspire me every year), so feel free to let me know if you'd be interested in getting one (with no obligation to send anything back in return).  I hope everyone is well and wish you all a Happy Halloween!
aidenonymous: (Default)
It's been five days since I got here, and I have to say, I'm a lot happier than I expected to be.  I love love love the house and the people in it.  I had really high expectations, and they've pretty much all been met.  The other folks like me, too, and they're working on finding a way for me to continue living here next year. . . but I'm still not sure what's going on with my partner, whether he'll want to move here at all if he can't live in an apartment with me.

I know the town is different in the summer when no one's around, compared to during the year when it's swarming with drunk undergrads, but I've found a lot to like.  There are lots of locally-owned coffee shops, restaurants, and grocery stores, and the downtown actually feels like a real downtown in terms of density.

Work is another story.  After dealing with a bunch of administrative bullshit (which I believe is normal for a school this size, no hard feelings, really), I'm finally starting to run into problems with my name on departmental stuff.  I'm okay with the government, doctors, and banks knowing me by my legal name, and I thought I'd be okay with my department being in that category, too, but I was wrong; in essence, this place is too small for me to isolate work from everything else, and I don't want to have to cave and give up being myself the rest of the time.

There are still a couple social issues I need to work out at home, namely that everyone seems to have made up their mind to use feminine pronouns for me, and I'm going to have to make some kind of announcement to get them to stop.  Aah, I knew there were drawbacks to not having an unambiguously male name!  Anyway, the name itself is somewhat of an issue because two people who work in my department also hang out at the house, and I've been failing at having an actual conversation with them for a couple days.  What I want to do is ask them to call me Ilan in the house and by my birth name at work, should it come up.  The real answer, I think, is to just be open about things at work, letting the faculty and other students know that I'd prefer to be called Ilan or that I may go by either name depending on the situation. . . so I'm going to talk to the director of the Pride Club here and ask for advice tomorrow.


aidenonymous: (Default)

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