aidenonymous: (gender)
I went to change my name with the Registrar today only to discover I'd misunderstood the instructions on the school's form and needed two forms of ID with my new name, not a photo ID plus something with my new name.  They suggested I head over to the Social Security office down the road and change it there, and then they could update the system.  So I did it, and it was super-easy, and I'm glad I'll have a Social Security card with my name on it.  (Also, my old one was issued when I was in third grade, and I dotted my i's with paw prints. . .)  That was easier than I thought, and I'm glad I did that.  Without me saying anything, they also updated my sex, and I'm not sure how I feel about that.

I really, really wanted to change my name with the school  as soon as possible because that's what controls what's on my health insurance card.  I hate it when doctors insist on referring to me with a feminine name because it lets everyone know what sex I'm "supposed to be," but that's not really a life-or-death matter.  I ended up in the ER last year and was assaulted by a nurse when she discovered my legal name by way of my insurance card, and the fact that I live in an extremely conservative area with only one nearby hospital means I will end up there again if there's an emergency, and that could be a life-or-death matter.  I wanted to get my name changed in the system tied to my health insurance today because I can finally update systems my department will access now that I'm totally out.

At the same time, I never planned to change my sex with Social Security.  They don't send no-match letters anymore, and I don't actually care what sex they have on file since it's not printed on the card anyhow.  I need photo ID to have a male sex marker so I don't have an ordeal every time I need to show it, but I don't want to change all my documentation to one sex or the other.  Since I was going to have a passport and state ID/driver's license (if I ever get around to learning to drive) with a male sex marker and will never be able to change the sex on my birth certificate (thanks, NYC!), I also planned to never change my sex with Social Security.  (Plus there's that whole Selective Service bullshit I'd rather avoid.)

I wasn't really thinking about any of that today and just let it happen.  The office closed at 3PM, so I won't be able to inquire in person until tomorrow at the earliest.  I don't know if I should call some central office and ask or what.  I feel really weird for caring about this at all.  It would be a lot simpler to just let it slide. . .
aidenonymous: (sulu)
I changed my legal name in New York City last week and wanted to publicly share the experience.

cut for long and boring )

I'm not sure if I was really ready for this, in spite of the fact that I chose and began using my name years ago.  I didn't expect to have completed this process until March or so since I wasn't planning to start until December, so I feel like I'm rushing even though there's only evidence for being ahead of schedule.  I'm postponing getting a new government-issued ID until March to make sure I'm emotionally keeping pace with this, but I plan to change my name with my bank and workplace ASAP.
aidenonymous: (gender)
It feels really good to be writing this now.  I've had a rough few days.  I've spent so much time on the phone sorting out things for my upcoming travel that I haven't gotten anything done for work.  My passport was finally mailed out today and should arrive tomorrow, and it will have a male sex marker.  And it will expire in two years, giving me that much time to get my name changed and update it without any additional fees, and I'll have at least some ID to use for everyday things in the meantime.  When the State Department called me to give me the update, they referred to me as "Mr. LastName," something that's never happened to me before and hadn't come up in previous conversations with them or anyone else in this process.  I was happy but unsure exactly what I was feeling at first.  Even though I write about it a fair bit, it still took some thought to determine it was recognition.

I've been considering whether this will be my last T-versary.  My plan was to stay on T through the summer and re-evaluate things before classes resume in the fall.  I'm not entirely sure what I was looking for, but I wanted to check in with my mental and physical health, my partner, and to what degree it was needed, because I delayed starting when it was only wanted.  It took a couple months before the novelty wore off enough that I could focus on other things again, my health has if anything improved aside from the acne, and my partner's had no trouble going with the flow.  The last thing I wanted to check is a bit more complicated.  I'm so pleased with the changes so far.  The biggest thing is obviously that I hear my own voice when I speak (though I still hope it keeps deepening, ha!), but there's more to it than that.  In my daily voice recordings, I've described it as stability and steadiness -- it just feels right.  For the most part, I don't think about changing my dose anymore, and at this point, I can't imagine discontinuing T in a month -- that would definitely be more of a disturbance than quitting when I'd vaguely planned to (derp, wrote the reverse of what I meant) continuing even when my ambient stress level increases.  I don't care whether that means it's needed or wanted because I've finally internalized that I am free from that condition.
aidenonymous: (sulu)
I just got back from my second endocrinologist appointment.  I would have gone to work this afternoon, but I scheduled an optometrist appointment right afterwards because the offices are right next to each other, and now my eyes are too dilated to get anything done.  q-:  Good thing I can touch type and have set my screen to an insanely large font size.  Though my vision insurance is too crappy for me to get new glasses (and I have used zero benefits previously) and I still had to shell out $100 just to get lenses with my new (and still pretty weak) prescription put into an old set of frames, my appointment with the endo went well.

She immediately noticed that my voice had changed!  (-:  Okay, so I guess this is an edge case on someone noticing without being prompted, since she obviously did know I was on T, but still, I spent the whole time trying to suppress the enormous grin from taking over my face (althought that started before she said anything).  She said it sounded like it was cracking, and giggled about me being a 14-year-old boy.  Only 11 years too late!  She asked about other changes, too.  No downstairs growth, no additional body hair, still getting periods, I think that was it?  She laughed at my comparison to being a puppy (hyperactive, lots of energy, also sleeping a lot).  She didn't know anything about ADHD getting worse on T but liked my hypothesis.

I was able to be honest about giving myself half of the half dose, and she was totally cool with it.  I've got a prescription for the 1.25 g metered pump instead of 2.5 g packets, so I'll be producing less waste and getting a more consistent dose.  She asked why I did that, and I didn't have a good answer, just chalked it up to last-minute jitters about changing too fast (which isn't really what was going on, but it was early and I was inarticulate), and she wasn't critical of that at all.  I am actually satisfied with the pace of changes and am unlikely to increase my dose especially soon, but it's good to know I can whenever I want to.

Also, when I got there, the staff used my legal name, etc., but I didn't get worked up about it because I'm used to it.  My doctor however, was angry on my behalf .  Incidentally, she is trans, too, and this was the first time her new name appeared on various forms of paperwork I got.  So, the staff screwed up pronouns for us both, and she had the manager-nurse-person talk to us about it; apparently I'm the first trans person from the school to see the endo at the new site in town (last time I had to travel a couple hours in each direction), and she wants to make sure they're better about it.  We had a nice chat, and I was taken super-seriously, which felt a little funny because I don't always take myself seriously.  Anyway, I was assured it wouldn't happen again, and I felt good about helping them improve service especially for other trans*folk from my school who might be more sensitive (so, probably all of them?).  My doctor said that there would be 3-4 trans patients from my school there each time she was at that office (once per month), so that means there's about a dozen trans people currently using the school insurance.

I asked about a letter for my passport, and she said she'd get right on it but that it would take a while.  She told me that getting a gender marker changed on a driver's license/state ID is actually really easy here, and she could write me a letter for that whenever.  I'm going to make another post rambling about that because I'm not entirely sure what I want out of this and need to figure it out soon due to upcoming international travel plans and a lack of valid ID of any kind.  Anyway, I'll be getting bloodwork some time this week, and this time she'll tell me what my levels are.  When I get the e-mail about that I'm also going to ask about my pre-T levels because I'm curious.  I'll be sure to share that with the internet when I find out.  (-;


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