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[personal profile] aidenonymous
No, I'm not really that much of a humbug.  I wanted to write a summary of this year, because it's been a rough one for me.  But, some parts were so bad I couldn't write much about them.  Stupid emotions!  So, here's the short version. . .
January: boring
February: boring
March: best friend from middle school who helped me through major depression died, opened Pandora's box of gender issues
April: made this journal because my headspace was too crowded with gender craziness
May: previously established peace with my body fell apart
June: started rock climbing and feeling good about my body
July: came out to mom
August: started binding
September: depression returned
October: embraced the gender confusion, stopped biting nails, became an insomniac
November: genderfuck'd a drag show, experienced transphobia for the first time, helped a friend with coming out
December: dysphoria interferes with my relationship with my partner (hopefully this won't become a pattern)

Anyway, the start and end of the school year is a much better delineation between years for me, so I can pretend it's not that big of a deal that I can't get my shit together about last year.  More seriously, that's actually the reason why I'm not making many New Year's resolutions, because I've already planned a bunch of big changes for when I have less on my plate during my gap year, after I graduate this spring.  I only have one resolution, and that's to get into gender therapy, because I'm a mess right now and need some outside help.  It doesn't sound like much, but with my insurance and history with therapists, it could take most of the year. . . wish me luck!
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aidenonymous

January 2021

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