T update: eight months
Jan. 7th, 2014 06:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aidenonymousFor reference, months seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.
I've been travelling three out of the last four weeks so have gone back to splitting a 2.5 g packet of Androgel 1%, using half each day, aside from the first week of the month when I was still using one 1.25 g pump of Androgel 1% daily. I've been applying it to my thighs and hips, with no attention paid to alternating sides. I missed a day for the first time so far due to a hectic travel schedule.
Facial hair:
I've shaved my sideburns twice in the past month, two weeks apart, and enjoy the feeling of stubble growing in. I have a handful of dark, stiff hairs, although they're still relatively fine. I found one somewhat dark, extremely stiff hair growing out of the middle of my cheek a few days ago and yanked it out without hesitation. I'm not sure if that means I should take a break from T or what, but it was fairly emotional. My mustache hairs are growing darker and more noticeable, too.
Body hair:
My nipple hair's gotten darker, and I'm still getting ingrown hairs all over my chest.
Acne:
Ummm, I still have acne, as always? I'm getting more little comedones, but that's probably because of travel more than anything else. I am no longer getting pimples at my T application site,
Chest:
I spent a lot more time binding in the past month than I did for the past few months because I spent so much time around people other than my partner. My chesticles feel very much not dense, but the skin-touching-skin problem isn't any worse for it. I've been thinking about surgery a lot.
Fat:
I think I can't deny that my body fat distribution has changed. I got a couple pairs of pants on Black Friday that were snug when I got them. I washed them and am pretty sure they shrunk, but they aren't tight around the hips at all, even if the waist shows some signs of shrinkage. I have fat on my hips, but it seems to be less hip-shaped if that makes any sense.
Muscles:
I went climbing when I was on vacation and simply did not get tired. I climbed for about six hours and stopped only when I developed a blister that popped. I don't remember having endurance like this before! Also, I feel like my arms have really beefed up.
Downstairs:
I'm getting used to not being able to tuck everything in, so to speak. There were a few days when I was aware that I'd failed to do so, but it wasn't a constant distraction. Loose underwear helps. I had some pretty uncomfortable times rock climbing when I was on vacation though and am grateful I didn't have the sweatpants-type things I normally wear to climb on hand because the stiffer material of my khakis kept the harness from putting pressure on my junk.
Sex drive:
I have had more partner sex in the last month than I think I've ever had in a single month. To me, this proves that T has increased my sex drive and stress was the source of my preference for masturbation.
Cycles:
I got another period, but this one was very short and easy to deal with. I'm very surprised this is still going on given how significant other physical changes have been.
Voice:
I'm really not sure if my voice has changed in the past month because my computer no longer produces sound. . . I've been recording my voice for the past month but not regularly listening to the recordings because of the drop in voice dysphoria, so I'm afraid that since I can't check now that perhaps something went wrong and I don't have a record of it. But, really, my computer can't play any sound files, even ones I know used to work, so I definitely need to fix that problem first. Anyway, since my vacation ended, I've been passing somewhat less and find it easy to blame my voice. EDIT: I never diagnosed the problem, but I have sound again! My voice definitely sounds deeper than it did a month ago but I don't feel fantastic about it given my decreased passing rate.
Everything else:
I spent half of the last month on vacation for the first time in several years and have been in many unfamiliar places, generally passing without issue even in areas with plenty of butch women (whose presence usually worsens my chances). I think what I'm feeling is relief and a drop in anxiety. At the same time, my facial hair is getting increasingly obvious, and while I'm okay with shaving the flat parts of my face and having visible beard shadow on my sideburns, I'm not sure I'm ready for maintaining the rest of my face. (My partner is straight and pretty iffy about all this medical transition stuff, but hearing me go back and forth about facial hair in the context of him perhaps no longer being attracted to me if I grow a beard.amuses him to no end.) Given the degree to which my dysphoria has improved on T, I'm very reluctant to stop and have even had nightmares about that. I plan to ask my endo for a lower dose option when we meet later this month (I wasn't able to move the appointment as mentioned in previous updates after all) and am crossing my fingers for more sideburns and less everything else.
Facial hair:
I've shaved my sideburns twice in the past month, two weeks apart, and enjoy the feeling of stubble growing in. I have a handful of dark, stiff hairs, although they're still relatively fine. I found one somewhat dark, extremely stiff hair growing out of the middle of my cheek a few days ago and yanked it out without hesitation. I'm not sure if that means I should take a break from T or what, but it was fairly emotional. My mustache hairs are growing darker and more noticeable, too.
Body hair:
My nipple hair's gotten darker, and I'm still getting ingrown hairs all over my chest.
Acne:
Ummm, I still have acne, as always? I'm getting more little comedones, but that's probably because of travel more than anything else. I am no longer getting pimples at my T application site,
Chest:
I spent a lot more time binding in the past month than I did for the past few months because I spent so much time around people other than my partner. My chesticles feel very much not dense, but the skin-touching-skin problem isn't any worse for it. I've been thinking about surgery a lot.
Fat:
I think I can't deny that my body fat distribution has changed. I got a couple pairs of pants on Black Friday that were snug when I got them. I washed them and am pretty sure they shrunk, but they aren't tight around the hips at all, even if the waist shows some signs of shrinkage. I have fat on my hips, but it seems to be less hip-shaped if that makes any sense.
Muscles:
I went climbing when I was on vacation and simply did not get tired. I climbed for about six hours and stopped only when I developed a blister that popped. I don't remember having endurance like this before! Also, I feel like my arms have really beefed up.
Downstairs:
I'm getting used to not being able to tuck everything in, so to speak. There were a few days when I was aware that I'd failed to do so, but it wasn't a constant distraction. Loose underwear helps. I had some pretty uncomfortable times rock climbing when I was on vacation though and am grateful I didn't have the sweatpants-type things I normally wear to climb on hand because the stiffer material of my khakis kept the harness from putting pressure on my junk.
Sex drive:
I have had more partner sex in the last month than I think I've ever had in a single month. To me, this proves that T has increased my sex drive and stress was the source of my preference for masturbation.
Cycles:
I got another period, but this one was very short and easy to deal with. I'm very surprised this is still going on given how significant other physical changes have been.
Voice:
I'm really not sure if my voice has changed in the past month because my computer no longer produces sound. . . I've been recording my voice for the past month but not regularly listening to the recordings because of the drop in voice dysphoria, so I'm afraid that since I can't check now that perhaps something went wrong and I don't have a record of it. But, really, my computer can't play any sound files, even ones I know used to work, so I definitely need to fix that problem first. Anyway, since my vacation ended, I've been passing somewhat less and find it easy to blame my voice. EDIT: I never diagnosed the problem, but I have sound again! My voice definitely sounds deeper than it did a month ago but I don't feel fantastic about it given my decreased passing rate.
Everything else:
I spent half of the last month on vacation for the first time in several years and have been in many unfamiliar places, generally passing without issue even in areas with plenty of butch women (whose presence usually worsens my chances). I think what I'm feeling is relief and a drop in anxiety. At the same time, my facial hair is getting increasingly obvious, and while I'm okay with shaving the flat parts of my face and having visible beard shadow on my sideburns, I'm not sure I'm ready for maintaining the rest of my face. (My partner is straight and pretty iffy about all this medical transition stuff, but hearing me go back and forth about facial hair in the context of him perhaps no longer being attracted to me if I grow a beard.amuses him to no end.) Given the degree to which my dysphoria has improved on T, I'm very reluctant to stop and have even had nightmares about that. I plan to ask my endo for a lower dose option when we meet later this month (I wasn't able to move the appointment as mentioned in previous updates after all) and am crossing my fingers for more sideburns and less everything else.
