What about me?
Dec. 13th, 2011 07:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aidenonymousI had a little reunion with some high school friends today at my high school, with the help of a favorite teacher of ours. One of my friends who was a little, babyfaced kid six years ago looks about ten years older than me now. When another teacher came into the room where we were hanging out, she had to ask who each of us was because, hey, it's been a while. But when she found out who the tall, dark, and handsome guy was, she blurted out, "Oh my god, you look like a MAN!" It was hilarious, and everyone cracked up.
People said I didn't really look any different, though I dress better now. I certainly hope this isn't some reflection of my gender issues, but I really wish people thought I looked different and more masculine after I started seeing myself that way.
EDIT: On the other hand, it's really reassuring to be told that nothing has changed, because it makes me more certain that I'm not identifying as transmasculine because I got the idea into my head that it's an especially cool thing to do (not that it's got to be uncool or something, but I've heard people talk about being transgender as if it's a fad, just because there's been a recent increase in visibility, especially on the Internet and especially of FTM folks). It's sort of like the feeling of relief when I come out to people and they say they knew it all along and aren't the least bit surprised. Damn, I just wish I could have my cake and eat it, too.
People said I didn't really look any different, though I dress better now. I certainly hope this isn't some reflection of my gender issues, but I really wish people thought I looked different and more masculine after I started seeing myself that way.
EDIT: On the other hand, it's really reassuring to be told that nothing has changed, because it makes me more certain that I'm not identifying as transmasculine because I got the idea into my head that it's an especially cool thing to do (not that it's got to be uncool or something, but I've heard people talk about being transgender as if it's a fad, just because there's been a recent increase in visibility, especially on the Internet and especially of FTM folks). It's sort of like the feeling of relief when I come out to people and they say they knew it all along and aren't the least bit surprised. Damn, I just wish I could have my cake and eat it, too.
