Shockers

[aidenonymous]

I talked with my endo on the phone today.  (She's actually going to send me the letter for my passport, this time.)  My free testosterone level a couple weeks ago was 180 ng/dL, quite a bit less than my hopeful guess of 300 ng/dL.  The real shocker was what my pre-T level was, 21 ng/dL.  I mean, I knew it was supposed to be in the female range, but I can't believe that I was at the low end of it.  I thought for sure I had high T levels because of the facial/body hair and low body fat.  Not sure what to make of it.  In any case, based on this information, I would have guessed my on-T level as 271 ng/dL, still higher than what was observed.  I don't know why I'm getting hung up on the number when I'm happy with the rate of changes, probably some macho bullshit about wanting to be in the male range.

Oh, but there's more!  My best friend outed me to his parents.  He told me over text, and I didn't indicate that this was a major problem then because I wasn't sure how to say it.  After letting it keep me up all night, I'm ready to start thinking about productive ways to tell him that was not okay.  He was so good about stuff that I didn't realize he didn't know that was a no-no.  I'm upset that I let down my guard, even if it was for my best friend.  I don't think he understands that other than medical providers, he is among four people I don't sleep with who know about my medical transition.  I consider myself to be close to his parents, and it was my secret to tell them on my own terms, not because he felt like telling them how his week was going, oh, and by the way [girlname] came to visit but now he goes by Ilan and takes hormones. 

Comments

[gymx.livejournal.com]

I'm hoping the letter-sending has a positive outcome.

[ilanthefirst.livejournal.com]

It already has, thanks!