The name talk
Jul. 23rd, 2010 09:34 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aidenonymousI think I accidentally came out as masculine-leaning genderqueer to my mom yesterday, and it went really well!
Some background: I'm home for a couple days for jury duty and am staying at my mom's place. We got called for jury duty at the same time, so we spent all of yesterday and will be spending all of today together. My folks have told me since forever that they didn't know my sex until I was born because they wanted a surprise (and boy did they get one). They picked out a gender-neutral, common name for if I'd had boy parts and a feminine, uncommon name for if I had girl parts. I've really appreciated my unusual name, but I hate how it's immediately recognized as female, and I always wondered why I didn't get the gender-neutral name that would have been a better fit.
And yesterday during our shared lunch break, I found out why. My mom didn't know that the "boy" name could have been a "girl" name, too. English is her primary language, but apparently at the time it wasn't used much for females even though it is now. Come to think of it, all the girls I know with that name are my age or younger, or from Europe, so it's possible the trend hadn't reached her yet. Anyway, now I know why.
The topic came up because she said she should have given me the "boy" name. She's apparently picked up on the fact that I haven't worn girl clothes since I stopped playing dress-up games, and she might have noticed a couple times that morning in the court buildings when people (in bathrooms, checking IDs) were puzzled by my apparent gender (or lack thereof).
My response was to tell her that I would have appreciated the name, but I won't hold it against her. However, I'm now thinking that if I change my name, I'll use Ilan day-to-day, but the name she would have given me will be a middle name. It would nearly allow me to preserve my initials anyway.
Some background: I'm home for a couple days for jury duty and am staying at my mom's place. We got called for jury duty at the same time, so we spent all of yesterday and will be spending all of today together. My folks have told me since forever that they didn't know my sex until I was born because they wanted a surprise (and boy did they get one). They picked out a gender-neutral, common name for if I'd had boy parts and a feminine, uncommon name for if I had girl parts. I've really appreciated my unusual name, but I hate how it's immediately recognized as female, and I always wondered why I didn't get the gender-neutral name that would have been a better fit.
And yesterday during our shared lunch break, I found out why. My mom didn't know that the "boy" name could have been a "girl" name, too. English is her primary language, but apparently at the time it wasn't used much for females even though it is now. Come to think of it, all the girls I know with that name are my age or younger, or from Europe, so it's possible the trend hadn't reached her yet. Anyway, now I know why.
The topic came up because she said she should have given me the "boy" name. She's apparently picked up on the fact that I haven't worn girl clothes since I stopped playing dress-up games, and she might have noticed a couple times that morning in the court buildings when people (in bathrooms, checking IDs) were puzzled by my apparent gender (or lack thereof).
My response was to tell her that I would have appreciated the name, but I won't hold it against her. However, I'm now thinking that if I change my name, I'll use Ilan day-to-day, but the name she would have given me will be a middle name. It would nearly allow me to preserve my initials anyway.
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Date: 2010-07-23 11:31 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2010-07-26 12:32 am (UTC)